Toys

I think that I might have to order them on-line but I'm hoping to get a packer soon.  At least I'll be able to be more myself at home.  I don't think that I could wear a binder, my sports bra is uncomfortable after a fairly short time.  I might try though, I don't know. 

I still wonder what kind of man I would be.  I've been letting my mind go there, watching men in life and on TV/movies and comparing what I think of myself and compare myself to them.  It is still so hard to allow my mind to go there, to let my mind free of the restraints I've put on it for so long.

Funny, when I was in Toronto and long after I thought that I had left this behind I had this little thing I would do at work.  I had a mailing list and I would ask a question every day.  I thought that I had a good question book, but the one I found was not good at all and I ended up having to make one up every single day.  So one of the questions I asked was what actor would you like to be and in what movie.  I can't remember the movie but I remember that I wanted to be Bruce Willis.